Never give in! – Only the lonely
Since my wife passed away nearly three and half years ago I have had plenty of loneliness and isolation in my life. The evenings used to be the worst. There was a feeling that you really were on your own and everybody else had somebody and everyone was happy and you were some kind of freak.
I have had lots of sleepless nights, sleep interrupted nights and nightmares and crazy dreams. It felt as though there was no way out and ‘this is it for the rest of your life’ was the dominant thought. I felt it was going to be a long and painful experience to the finish line.
Fortunately, I have this resilience which makes me keep on fighting and refuse to accept the fate of a miserable existence. I have every right to be here and every right to feel okay and I am not going to drown in this hell. Nobody can do it for me and I have to put a lot of effort in to feel better. I must keep in touch with family and friends. I must go out into the world each day and do what I have to do to keep sane or at the very least feel okay. I must keep my mind occupied and I must practice what I preach with regards to the things I have learned at places like the Recovery College.
I moved home recently and that was massive but I am feeling so much better of late and my strategies are paying off. I will never give up trying to improve my mind and my relationships with people.
Never give in!
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